How to Save Your Relationship with Matthew Fray

Not all relationships end because of one traumatic event, such as one person cheating. For author Matthew Fray, divorce is more like death by a thousand cuts. In his new book, This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships, Matthew looks at his personal experience in his divorce, as well as the experience he’s gleaned as a relationship coach, to identify and address relationship-killing behavior and patterns that lead to divorce. Matthew exposes the root cause of so many relationships gone wrong, as well as the necessary skills we need to cultivate if we want to avoid alienating our partners and creating mistrust.

In this conversation we discuss:

  • Why divorce may be the “Great Social Crisis of Our Time;”
  • Why we may inadvertently become a crappy spouse;
  • The role of blind spots in relationships;
  • Validation and consideration as key habits for healthy, happy relationships;
  • How to stop accidentally hurting our partners and ruining our marriages.

You can listen to our conversation wherever you stream podcasts (Apple, Spotify, iHeart Radio) or listen here:



Matthew Fray is a relationship coach and writer who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage and divorce to help others avoid making the same mistakes. His writing has been featured in the New York Times, the London Sunday Times, the Huffington Post, Babble, and many other outlets. His blog Must Be This Tall To Ride has a dedicated following and has reached millions of readers.



Kristen Manieri is certified as both a habits coach and a mindfulness teacher. Her book, Better Daily Mindfulness Habits: Simple Changes with Lifelong Impact, was released summer 2021. She specializes in: stress reduction, energy management, mindset, resilience, habit formation, rest rituals, and self-care. As the host of the weekly 60 Mindful Minutes podcast, an Apple top 100 social science podcast, Kristen has interviewed over 160 authors and thought leaders about what it means to live a more conscious, connected, intentional and joyful life. Learn more at kristenmanieri.com/work-with-me.

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